of being a friend

i was watching f.r.i.e.n.d.s. last night (yes, the series) when alex called me up.

hey, are you home?

yeah, bakit?

samahan mo naman ako. i just need someone to talk to.

where? kelan? now na?

yes now na. andito na ako sa kanto nyo. susunduin kita.

may magagawa pa ba ako? hahaha! do i have a choice? wala na syempre. but anyway, he's a very good friend of mine and medyo matagal tagal na din ang pinagsamahan namin.

so what happened? nagpunta kami sa parking area somewhere there in las piñas but before that, dumaan muna kami sa 7-11 to buy foods and drinks. nung nagsawa na, we went to alabang sa may aplaya, sandaling sandali lang naman kami doon.

im just wondering, he needs someone to talk to daw, hindi naman nagsalita ng problema nya, uminom lang at nilasing lang ako. hahaha! alex kahit kelan talaga ang gulo mo. ^_^

well, im just happy i was a friend last night na ready to be there in times needed be. kahit na wala naman akong naipayo at nakipag inuman lang. my presence i guess was the most important thing last night.

alex, whatever it may be, you know i'm always here for you. alam na alam mo yan. i know time will come all these things happening will be fine and okay for you. i hope that all the pain and hurt in your heart will be washed away and happiness will be there in your heart.

im just here my friend. for you, always...

...helping others move on...

of beginning beginnings

whew! that was hot! haha! ang alin? wala lang.

anyways, a couple of weeks ago, i was absent for two days, i was complaining about my fever, cough and colds... then im ok.

the following week, fever goes back. this time, its kinda more exhausting and kills my strength. i was absent from wednesday until monday of the following week. went to the doctor and told me i just need some rest. so come tuesday, i was able to get back my strength and ready for work.

i was reading along some emails saturday last week when i feel so cold (yeah, i know! data center has a lot of a/c units), a different kind of cold where you feel even your intestine chills. like that. went out to the cafeteria and had some hot soup to eat to ease the coldness i feel (hey, im telling you, that's the literal coldness, not the one in the heart. read my last entry loser! hahahah). so i went home exactly 5pm because i was feeling really bad that day. after i got home, i had medicine to lower the fever (its 40.02c). went down then after a couple of minutes goes back to 40.

my fever went on fluctuating until sunday night so i decided to go back to the doctor the following monday morning. i advised my boss that i wont be working for that day since i have to see my doctor.

and guess what, i have typhoid fever (ooopppss, where the hell i got this salmonella bacteria?) and she told me not to work for the whole week. what? for the whole week? another week at home. its really boring...

well, today friday, 5 days at home. not really boring. i had a couple of visitors. my titas, my grandma, my bestfriend cousins, a close friend (yeah, a very close one, hahah... oohhhh stop what you're thinking, im sick moron!) and some people i dont know the reason why they visited me hahah!

sa pinoy, its quite funny how we show our care to people we love. its funny how they wont even recognize you at times pero when it comes to the time na you are sick, naglalabasan pala ang mga kamag-anak mo. no no, dont get me wrong, im not looking at it in a bad way, nakakatuwa nga kasi they find time to drop by at my place.

and oh, my kuya, and my sis-in-law, superb. ako na ang nahihiya sa kanila. my sis in law even gave me a sponge bath. hahaha! yeah, she did. and im very thankful to them for taking care of me.

mom, i know you're worried. hahaha! but i aint dying noh! ano ka ba haha. im still alive and kicking. nagba-blog pa nga ako ngayon. you're bday is coming in, i miss you na. hope to see you and spend time with you on your birthday.

why the title?

i just feel my sickness is one of His many own ways of telling me, He's there for me and this is the time that we have to spend more time together. this is the beginning where i have to hold on to my faith. the time where i have to get back and pick up those shattered pieces of my life where once i left because of things i thought will be good for me. na hindi pala. but, i should be thankful also for those dark times of my life where i learned a lot from my experiences and to the people i met.

so this is it, my new beginnings.

...good life just got better...

of moving on and new beginnings

last night was such a great night i was able to release all that's been hidden here inside of me for quite some time. i was never given a chance to be like myself again until last night when a good friend of mine and i hanged out.

i was so drunk last night i really don't know what im doin. lol. i remember i was lying on the bathroom and wet with water because i puked several times. lol. stupid me talaga.

pero seriously, last night, was the night of victory. the night where everything were washed away. all the heartaches, pains, problems, loneliness... all thats here inside me i was keeping away from my friends for a long period of time.

before i closed my eyes this morning, i know that today will be a great day. a new day indeed. a new beginning...

thank God i found you... again...

...moved on...

...life goes back to the way it used to be...a little better...

be happy

reposting from ygroup


Always try to help a friend in need
Believe in yourself
Be brave...but it's ok to be afraid sometimes
Study hard
Give lots of kisses
Laugh often
Don't be overly concerned with your weight, it's just a number
Always try to see the glass half full
Meet new people, even if they look different to you
Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless
Take lots of naps..
Be weird whenever you have the chance
Love your friends, no matter who they are
Don't waste food
RELAX
Take an occasional risk
Try to have a little fun each day.
...it's important
Work together as a team
Share a joke with friends
Fall in love with someone..
...and say 'I love you' often
Express yourself creatively
Be conscious of your appearance
Always be up for surprises
Love someone with all of your heart
Share with friends
Watch your step
It will get better
There is always someone who loves you more than you know
Exercise to keep fit
Live up to your name
Seize the Moment
Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between
Indulge in the things you truly love
Cherish every Sunday
At the end of the day... PRAY
....... and close your eyes
And smile at least once a day!

of goodbyes and heartaches

"sorry, i give up..."

these words, these exact words came out from me... at last, im free.

and now, i can say that i'm still working my way to moving on... but a lot better compared to before...




mahirap




masakit




mixed emotions



but what happened taught me a lot of lessons and helped me become stronger


it is true, that love is somehow like math, because you should always look for the sign. and make sure you see it right.

im happy then, im happier now.






im wiser.







im better.







and i know, na wala akong inapakang tao...



wala akong niloko,



wala akong pinaasa,



wala akong sinaktan.






i just loved... and that love will always be a well learned lesson to me...



...still moving on...

Pain of Letting Go

Thanks to a good friend, Iris, for sharing me her blog article called "The Pain of Letting Go"

Click here to read

of pastas and heartaches

for the four lovely girls in my life: my mom, my sister and my two cousins ate jheng and ate jhoan

i was about to meet some of friends yesterday to sit down over a cup of coffee but was cancelled due to some errrie reasons. hmpft! makes me sick everytime i remember.

anyways, yesterday morning was not a good one but i still tried to manage and be happy. i washed my clothes and started cleaning some parts the house. watched dvd, played music, almost everything.

i thought ill be okay the whole day. i tried hard not to text that person knowing that i havent received any message kahit isa lang. and knowing kung nasaan siya everytime na hindi siya nagpaparamdam sa akin. it hurts a lot knowing that that very special person is not with you and with someone else's side.

after doing the laundry, i dropped by at my cousin's house. we (me, ate jheng, ate jhoan > my bestfriend cousins) cooked carbonara. hmmm! perfecto mio! made every neighbor and cousin taste my favorite food. haha! i can say i had a lot of fun and forgot temporarily all the burdens, heartaches and loneliness i am feeling. im greatful to them (my two very loving and understanding cousins) for being so kind, patient and understanding all my shortcomings and stupidity. my being so childish at times. for being there for me in times i need to talk to about everything. for pushing me lay down that bed and let that girl play around my face. hahaha! surely a lot of fun that time. for teaching me how to save money. for teaching me to be like them, kikays! hahaha... just a bit of course.

and the best of it all, for teaching me how to cook carbonara. ^_^

truly, blood is thicker than water... friends, partners and other people will leave you for nothing but your family will always be there for you no matter what happens. i learned a lot yesterday more than learning how to cook pasta. the time we shared last night cannot be compared to the time im with someone else begging for time and attention. the time when i was so stupid doing things ive never done before.

to the two of you, weeee! no words can explain what i feel. i know you both understand me and support me. thank you for that. next stop> baked mac!

to my mum and sister, go home. i miss you na.

and to you, yes you, you know who you are, love is not enough to make people happy. as what sir mark macapagal said, let me quote this:

"I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance."

so that's all for now. before i end this write up, let me share with you a very beautiful article written by Mark Macapagal titled "The One That Got Away"

The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter.

All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?". That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, nomatter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference.

If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away." =)





...i'm moving on...